WWE NXT 5/4/10

PC: No Coach tonight for some mysterious reason. Instead, I will speculate on what Coach would think of each segment.

"Coach": Look at that guy's shirt! Look at that guy's hair!

PC: We start with a lineup of our NXT rookies. Stryker tells us (and them) that the bottom wrestler in next week's pro poll will be eliminated. High stakes. We also have an obstacle course tonight. I guess that has a little more to do with wrestling than the other challenges at least. Winner gets immunity.

"Coach": Daniel Bryan up first. I'll be sad to see him go next week. I wonder if his goodbye song will be "Time of Your Life" or "Had a Bad Day."

PC: Bryan has taped ribs and is selling his match/beatdown at the hands of Batista last night. I'm not sure the crowd knows that there is a telivision show being taped right now. Bryan even sells the fact the he can't drink the soda fast due to his injury. What a pro.

"Coach": I'm pretty sure that if this obstacle course is the criteria, I could be the next NXT winner.

PC: Uh oh, here comes the Miz. It'll be Daniel Bryan vs. Michael Tarver in a battle of the winless guys...next!

Daniel Bryan vs. Michael Tarver

PC: Bryan gets beat up from the very beginning. Different than the usual formula they've been putting him through. A sign of hope maybe? Bryan takes advantage and sets up for a Mexican Surfboard.

"Coach": Tap or Snap!

PC: Bryan hits some great looking offense and manages the pop the crowd out of their slumber. Tarver controls with a chin lock as we go to break.

"Coach": Man, do I hate people from Ukraine.

PC: Coach, what an odd thing for you to say. Back from break and Tarver is still in control. Bryan transitions with a flurry of stiff kicks all over the body of Tarver. Tarver, however, wins the match via some kind of weak powerslam. Post-match, Carlito hits a lungblower on Bryan's injured ribs as The Miz mocks him.

"Coach": They show a Darren Young recap from last week. We need more Darren Young in our lives. And more third trimester abortions.

PC: Coach, leave your extreme political views out of our wrestling blog. Punk gives Young an ultimatum. Win the obstacle course...or else.

"Coach": Heath Slater is up on the obstacle course and he easily tops Bryan. And now Darren Young. It seems that the bubbles in the soda are hurting everyone's throats.

PC: I could take any of them in a two liter challenge. Darren Young does not beat Slater's time. But Justin Gabriel does. David Otunga can't beat it either and I am bored. And it seems that the NXT gods have heard my lament. Otunga takes on R-Truth...right now.

David Otunga vs. R-Truth

PC: WHAT'S UP!

"Coach": WHAT'S UP!

PC: Must be a special occasion as we get the live rap from R-Truth tonight. R-Truth slaps Otunga to start. I feel like this is a good time to state for the record that R-Truth is by far my favorite Ron Killings iteration.

"Coach": And I think this is a good time to state for the record that Idi Amin had some good ideas.

PC: Back from the break and Otunga is in control. Otunga puts Truth into an abdominal stretch but Truth counters into an abdominal stretch of his own. R-Truth hits a series of leg lariats followed by a corkscrew back elbow for the pin.

"Coach": WHAT'S UP!

PC: WHAT'S UP!

"Coach": I am so happy he's on Raw now.

PC: Wade Barrett is up. He falls off the monkey bars and refuses to continue. Okay then. Skip Sheffield up and he just misses the target time. Stryker congratulates him anyway for some reason. And now Michael Tarver. We've gotta be getting close to the end of this, right?

"Coach": It can't end soon enough. This is riveting.

PC: Tarver pouts his way through the challenge until he taps out to the soda challenge. Justin Gabriel will be immune next week. Gabriel calls out Otunga. I guess both of them are safe. And, umm, Tarver admits that he should be eliminated next week. He also calls Daniel Bryan over-rated and that does not sit well with me.

"Coach": Even Daniel Bryan admits that he's over-rated. hahahahahahaha

PC: Blasphemy. Tensions are high as the show ends.

Final Thoughts

"Coach": Time for my Tea Party rally. Let me know what happens on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

PC: If next week is Daniel Bryan's last episode, it's my last episode.