PC: If Cormac McCarthy were to write a wrestling match, it would be this one.
Coach: I look forward to seeing the Coen Bros. adaptation.
PC: On one side, you've got the grizzly anti-hero who has been through more in a wrestling ring than any man should. On the other, an ammoral monster whose only goal is to crush whatever is in front of him.
Coach: Foley says that if you're watching this, you probably aren't involved in a very active dating life. Not surprisingly, both of us are currently single.
PC: Foley punches Vader in the face to start. I'm pretty sure I'll be typing "punch in the face" quite a bit.
Coach: Vader's mask has not practical function. It is even more useless at concealing his identity than Foley's later Mankind mask.
PC: Vader punches Foley in the face. See, I told you. Vader switches it up by kicking Foley in the face. This is the wrestling equivalent to a snuff film.
Coach: So far this doesn't feel particularly more Southern like WCW should, except for the fact that those punches are landing and at least one of them is probably drunk.
PC: Foley hits a powerslam, legdrop, and flying lariat to take control. Things end up on the outside. Foley tries to clothesline Vader over the metal crowd barrier...
Coach: That is holding back no crowd.
PC: But they both tumble to the floor.
Coach: Back from commercial. This match is brought you by Queso dip.
PC: Vader drops his full weight on Foley to break out of a sleeper hold. Vader then destroys Foley's face with punches. If he was pretty before, he ain't no more.
Coach: Was the whole backyard wrestling craze before Foley or did he spur that on.
PC: Foley started out in the backyard, but he certainly was influential on all the skinny kids in the midwest jumping off their garages. Meanwhile, Vader hits and Vaderbomb. Instead of going for the cover, he throws Foley outside and there are even more punches.
Coach: Vader's beard wraps all the way around his head.
PC: Vader wraps his foot around Foley's head. And hen his fist a couple more times. Then is forearm.
Coach: Vader goes for the splash and instead hits the useless safety rail. I hope the crowd doesn't come pouring into the ring!
PC: Foley hits a rolling senton off the apron to knock Vader out on the floor. Foley climbs back in and wins by countout. Vader takes it out on the guard rail.
Final Thoughts
Coach: Very different than what we've watched so far. The match stands alone in that Foley gets punched in the face...actually punched in the face. A lot. And I especially enjoyed Foley's rewind where he explains at what point in the match his nose gets broken.
PC: I am looking to Foley vs. Anton Chigurh.
Coach: Oh man, Foley would brag about taking the Cattle Gun forever.
Friday, May 14, 2010
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