PC: Elimination Night on NXT! The way my day has been going, Daniel Bryan is gone for sure tonight. I just ate away my problems, Precious-style, so maybe that'll help turn things around. Coach is absent again this week, so I will be providing his thoughts.
"Coach": Yes. Yes you will.
PC: All the boys come out to the ring to start. We get a recap of last night's win by the NXT Rookies over the Raw Superstars (and by that I mean, DANIEL BRYAN WINNING - OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT). And we start right off with the elimination. It's Michael Tarver.
"Coach": Tarver throws off his shirt in protest.
PC: Uh oh. Wait. Double elimination. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
"Coach": I'm going to inch away from PC in case he gets hit by a lightning bolt.
PC: There is really no reason to watch this anymore. Apparently there will be another elimination later. And Bryan and Tarver were axed by WWE Management. The pros poll is yet to come. I have a prediction from my years of wrestling-watching experience: Bryan is still #1 in the pros poll, leading to an interesting conundrum.
"Coach": Either that or he's just gone.
Heath Slater vs. Wade Barrett
PC: Slater dominates to start. He jumps around and acts like a jackass and Wade Barrett goes to work on him. They have a not-very-good-match that I can barely see through the tears in my eyes. Slater goes for a crossbody but Barrett catches him in mid-air and slams him down for 3.
"Coach": Barrett's lip is cut so it looks like he's wearing lipstick. Almost like a British Buffalo Bill.
PC: Matt Striker interviews Tarver backstage. Tarver sleeps in a car, or so he claims. Tarver says that he will be back. The world is not so sure.
Skip Sheffield vs. Darren Young
"Coach": Darren Young! The next breakout star in the WWE. No question.
PC: Sure, Coach. Young goes for the ten punch spot in the corner but Sheffield crotches him. The announcers spend more time talking about Daniel Bryan than the match going on in the ring. They usually reserve that kind of thing for the likes of Triple H and The Rock. Hmmm...
"Coach": Darren Young, and his fabulous hair, lose the match. My fear is growing.
PC: Backstage, Striker interviews Daniel Bryan. They ask is DB regrets leaving the indies...and he says that he used to be a guy that kicked people's heads in and was the best in the world. He then says that Daniel Bryan is a guy that lost to rookies but BRYAN DANIELSON will not be going away. Awesome promo. If our DVR wasn't broken I would watch that five times in a row. Danielson finally shows a bit of the fire that made grown men travel large distances to see him wrestle just so they could say that they did.
"Coach": So does this mean that the whole "Daniel Bryan" thing was a hoax (much like the moon landing)?
David Otunga vs. Justin Gabriel
PC: Gabriel hits some flashy offense and the crowd politely waits for the Smackdown taping to start. Otunga takes control, Gabriel counters and blows a spin kick. He is the Afrikaner X-Pac. Otunga wins with a spinebuster.
"Coach": Why don't the Afrikaners ever win??
PC: The remaining rookies are back at ringside. Each guy says which guy he thinks should be eliminated. Most are saying David Otunga. None of them are saying it very well. Pro's Poll, in order: Barrett, Otunga, Gabriel, Slater...
"Coach": Uh oh.
PC: And the loser is...
"Coach": YES!!
PC: Goodbye Skip Sheffield. Sheffield says that he should have listened to Regal's advise and that he will be back someday. Next week will be another elimination. I doubt I'll be watching.
Final Thoughts
"Coach": The best hair in the business lives to fight another day.
PC: No more Daniel Bryan...Bring on the Bryan Danielson era!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcaPp6PM0f8
Check out the way Striker can barely contain himself at the end. I'm guessing this clip was followed shortly after by an epic man-hug.
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