PC: Late call for me + day off for Coach = Chase and Sanborn + Wrestling
Coach: I’d like to publicly not apologize for me comments in the previous post. I’m very not sorry to Ukrainians everywhere and I regret nothing.
PC: Today we’ll be watching a match that comes to us from New Japan Pro Wrestling in the far off year of 1994. The company’s Heavyweight champion was Shinya Hashimoto. Their Junior Heavyweight champion was Jushin “Thunder” Liger. They had a match together.
Coach: 1994. What can we say about 1994? That philanderer Clinton was president. Newt Gingrich was driving this country into the ground. Nirvana was corrupting our nation’s youth.
PC: None of this affected Japan in the least.
Coach: George H.W. Bush did throw up on their Prime Minister. Several years earlier. But still.
PC: Okay then.
Coach: And they were destroying our auto industry.
PC: To the match!
Coach: The lighting, the smoke. It has a Rumble in the Jungle kind of feel.
PC: Throwdown in Japan-town.
Coach: This match is Hurley from Lost vs. the Red Power Ranger.
PC: Liger is in fact based on a cartoon character.
Coach: Hentai, I hope.
PC: Hash starts off with a fat headlock on Liger. They set up the Power vs. Speed theme in the early going.
Coach: They are playing mercy. Liger does not win.
PC: Slow going until Hash starts kicking the hell out of Liger. Liger responds with several palm strikes of his own and caps it off with a rolling Kapo kick.
Coach: The fat guy just hit a dropkick. Just like Hurley.
PC: Hash settles things down again, using his weight to his advantage on the ground game.
Coach: New Japan…is it more Raw or more Smackdown?
PC: It’s more WCW. Fantastic juniors, not-so-fantastic heavyweights.
Coach: WCW. We need to watch some of that. Is Sting dead or is he still wrestling?
PC: He’s still wrestling.
Coach: Those are the only two choices with these guys, it seems.
PC: Hash kills Liger’s arm and kicks him really, really hard. Power is beating speed.
Coach: It’s too much weight for Liger to handle. And just when I say that, Liger hits several dropkicks to the knee of Hash.
PC: Liger attempts to lift Hash in to surfboard and the crowd loves it. Hash breaks free. Liger instead goes for another knee hold. Hash headbutts him for the trouble. And Liger slaps him away. Awesome.
Coach: Is the cartoon character that Liger is based on a mix between a lion and a tiger like in Napoleon Dynamite?
PC: He is an evil wrestler from another dimension that shoots lighting. I think. Hash has taken control again and works over Liger’s arm and back.
Coach: Liger unwisely goes for a powerbomb and he gets kicked in the face. He should stick to slapping him, I think.
PC: Every time it seems like Hash is going to run away with it, Liger pulls out something from his bag of tricks to prolong the inevitable.
Coach: I’m just waiting for Hurley to sit on him. Then it’ll be over for sure.
PC: Liger hits a missile dropkick to the knee from the top rope. And locks on the figure four! Crowd is shockingly quite for it. I think they prefer to see Liger trying to lift the big guy.
Coach: He did it!
PC: LIGER BOMB! FOR TWO!
Coach: He almost tipped over backward when he got him up.
PC: Liger sets up Hash for the Superplex and botches it into an inadvertent brainbuster. Wow.
Coach: This is reminiscent of Hogan bodyslamming Andre the Giant. At least, I think it is. I’ve never seen the match.
PC: Liger hits big move after big move now, including a sick Kapo kick into the corner, a top rope rana, and a bridging German Suplex. All for two. Liger hits a missile dropkick to the back of Hash’s head. Hash counters Liger with a deep arm drag and here come to kicks.
Coach: Crowd chants something that sounds like “Kumite” from Bloodsport. Did he ever wrestle, or was he just an “actor?”
PC: Hash hits a crazy looking leg sweep and a few more kicks to the head. Liger is not long for this world. Hash lifts him up and heads a brainbuster for the win.
Final Thoughts
PC: Fantastic match. I need to see much more Hashimoto. Liger played the underdog really well and it’s probably the first time I’m ever really seen him in that position. Plus he takes Hash’s kicks like a man and isn’t afraid to give it back.
Coach: An even match between two super powers over a wide blue expanse. Reminds me of something from about seventy years ago…
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