WWE NXT 5//25/10

Coach: For the second night in a row, I have been left to write this blog on my own. Perhaps PC just can’t find the heart to quit work and watch NXT because Daniel Bryan got eliminated. Whatever the reason, there’s no excuse for missing tonight’s edition of NXT, which will be the most important NXT of all time.

”PC”: Don’t worry, Bryan Danielsan will be on tonight so he can not apologize to Cole’s face.

Coach: Darren Young looks like a really tan Cena, I’m very sad to see that he was eliminated, by the way, thank you WWE for recap highlight packages that extend back for weeks.

“PC”: R-Truth! WHATS UP! WHATS UP!

Coach: WHATS UP! to the new United States Champion.

“PC”: There’s 4 rookies left and the fatal 4way is coming up, coincidence?

Coach: Yes. Cole announces that next week is the season finale, just in time for the NBA finals, thank God.

”PC”: Here comes the “who should be eliminated” portion of the show, beware rookies, it’s a trick question (hint: don’t say yourself).

Coach: This time no one makes that mistake, instead they all take the opportunity to insult each other horrendously. Suns up 64-55 at the half.

R-Truth! WHATS UP! & David Otunga vs. Christian & Heath Slater (hehe Hard Rain)

“PC”: We start w/ Slater v. Truth, even so far. Truth fits in a quick ‘what’s up’ and tags otunga.

Coach: Slater, the one man rock band clashes with a-list otunga, Christian tags in.

“PC”: You know, Bret Hart was the United States champ but he gave it up to become general manager.

Coach: Had to be tough to walk away from that title.

“PC”: Otunga takes a couple bitch slaps from Christian, who is dominating him. He tags slater, who continues the domination. Kickouts and last second rope grabs ensue.

Coach: They know this is an hour show right?

”PC”: Otunga surprisingly pins slater. They play R-Truth’s song in victory.

ALL: WHATS UP!

Coach: I wonder what the pros will think of this match.

“PC”: Really?

Coach: No, all I’m looking forward to is Daniel Bryan’s “apology”

“PC”: We’re back from commercial, Michael Cole in the middle of the ring w/ several security guards.

Coach: Here we go…Michael Cole even sets up a highlight package for the showdown, should be very convenient come suing time.

“PC”: Here comes Bryan Danielsan, YES! Oh…Bryan actually apologizes. This is the height of the male soap opera.

Coach: They actually shook hands…………NOT! Daniel Bryan: “I’m sorry……that you’re the worst announcer of all time!!!”

“PC”: Now it’s turning into a shouting match, they’re in each other’s faces. One of them might cry. Cole calls Bryan a loser, he goes beserk and tackles cole, “hurts” him. The security was pretty quick to get him off though.

Coach: On his way out, Bryan goes after the Miz, roughs him up. Bryan Danielsan has gone nuts.

“PC”: AMERICAN DRAGON!

Coach: Cut to commercial as Bryan is taken out of the venue, Suns up 5 with 6 mins left in the 3rd.

Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel

“PC”: Mandela wants us to win the world cup!

Coach: Barrett is dominating early, Jericho yells at the announcers, says they should talk about Barrett’s abs. The tide turns (so unexpectedly too) Gabriel starts kicking barrett and gets him on the mat with some big airs. Kickouts, kickouts, kickouts. Gabriel wins by doing a front flip onto Barrett’s chest.

“PC”: A fine match.

Coach: Thank you for contributing. Commercial time, Burger King has ribs now. PC, I think I smell a new fast food adventure.

“PC”: “BK ribs Saturday” doesn’t sound as good as “Double Down Saturday”, but I’m interested nonetheless. Just like “Ridley Scott with Russel Crowe” isn’t as good as “Ridley Scott without Russell Crowe”.

Coach: You’re just picking nits.

“PC”: You’re stuffing this blog with inside jokes.

Coach: Touche, imaginary PC. We come back to a 20 minute highlight package of what happened last night on raw with batista. The announcer says the pros will now decide who will be eliminated, back to commercial.

“PC”: Hour long show, 10 minutes of wrestling.

Coach: We’re back, it’s elimination time. Barrett is safe (shit I don’t like him). Otunga is number two (he’s actually kinda funny). AND….Heath Slater, the one man rock band, is eliminated.

“PC”: Gabriel still has a chance to win the world cup.

Coach: Christian, Heath’s pro, has a few nice gushy words to say. Miz rips him for having no heart and being inconsistent. R-truth (what’s up) better luck next time he says. Jericho says he’ll be frank, his guy is gonna win. Heath says he’s not going anywhere, that the one man rock band will have an encore.

Final Thoughts

“PC”: Overall a weak show, just like American Gangster.

Coach: Let’s get BK ribs and go see Robin Hood.