PC: For the record, Coach put this on of his own volition. I think he has Stockholm Syndrome at this week.
Coach: Or according to Die Hard, Helsinki Syndrome. As in Helsinki, Sweden.
PC: Foley was out of his mind at this point. Sabu was even more reckless with his body. Instead of being the guy who gets punched in the face, he was the guy who threw himself off the top rope to the outside through a table.
Coach: ECW, huh.
PC: I have been to the ECW arena. It is awesome in the most trashy way possible. Match starts with Sabu hitting a leg lariat and locking in a headlock.
Coach: When are we going to watch a Roddy Piper match?
PC: Soon! Calm down Coach. Sabu knocks Foley to the outside and begins to hit Foley with a plastic chair.
Coach: Sabu seems to be what Randy Orton is going for these days. And out of control loose cannon that hates on everyone. Only Orton has more tattoos and is a pussy.
PC: Sabu with a huge suicide dive to the outside the drives both into the metal guard rail.
Coach: Which Sabu tattoo is your favorite? Mine is the gigantic scar across his abs.
PC: Goes to the jumping well one too many times and ends up eating a Cactus Jack elbow. Cactus clothesline and both end up on the outside. Foley hits Sabu about as hard as you can hit someone with a plastic chair and then drops the elbow from the apron to the floor.
Coach: A fan is drinking a PBR in the crowd. Nice.
PC: Foley smacks Sabu across the back with a frying pan and then smacks his own head with it. Foley goes to the top but misses with a flipping senton. Sabu hits a slingshot legdrop for two.
Coach: Other than his crawling around, I haven't seen much Sabu craziness yet.
PC: Suplex reversals by both until they tumble to the outside. Joey Styles is especially annoying during the match. Sabu sets up Foley on a table and hits a leg drop off the guard rail.
Coach: As they lay on the ground, we see no less than four pairs of jorts being worn by crowd members.
PC: Foley hotshots Sabu on the guard rail.
Coach: We see two more pairs of jorts.
PC: 911 interferes and sets up Foley on a table. Sabu hits an Asai moonsault off the second rope to the outside and busts Foley through the table. He also nails his jaw on the guardrail. Finish comes when Foley hits a splash in the corner and Paul E. Dangerously nails him with an old-timey cell phone. Sabu falls on top of Foley for the win.
Coach: That's one app that the iPhone doesn't have...kill.
PC: Post match, Foley cleans house including a disgusting unprotected chair shot on 911's head. Locker room empties and Sabu hits an out of control tope con hilo to the outside. Foley hits Sabu with a piledriver near the concession stand. Sabu breaks a beer bottle over Foley's head and cuts his own hand open in the process.
Coach: Ouch.
PC: Sabu throws Foley facefirst through a propped up table. Sabu hits a sloppy moonsault. But Jack is up. He suplexes the broken table onto Sabu. And things finally seem to end.
Final Thoughts
Coach: How did that end? Who won? I'm exhausted.
PC: Welcome to ECW. Not the best from either guy, but certainly fun stuff. Sabu works best in music video highlight form.
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