PC: Coach, tonight "Epic" is spelled N-X-T.
Coach: NXT. Three letter. Three wrestlers left. Three ways it could go.
PC: Pick me a winner.
Coach: I'm going with Otunga. I'm thinking he's what they're looking for right now.
PC: I'm still holding out hope for Daniel Bryan. We start with a lowlight package of sorts, showcasing the eliminated wrestlers. Striker welcomes us to the Season Finale. The eliminated rookies are sitting front row. I bet they will just sit there and passively enjoy the show. Next up, the pros are introduced.
Coach: I guess when they started the show by saying, "the talk is over," they were just kidding.
PC: Striker says that they have one last chance to impress: a triple threat match, up next!
Coach: I smell a whole lot of highlight packages in our future.
PC: We get our first look at the 2nd season of NXT...starting next week. Hmm. It's Mike "IRS" Rotunda's son, Husky Harris. His pro, for some reason, is Cody Rhodes and NOT Ted DiBiase Jr.
Coach: They reveal that John Morrison will be one of the pros on Season 2. I don't know who his rookie is because I was distracted by the elaborate crosses on his sunglasses.
PC: It's Eli Cottonwood. He's plenty tall and plenty weird looking.
David Otunga vs. Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel
PC: Three ways are the worst type of match. Now imagine three not-that-talented guys working a three way. Then picture a crowd that is reacting to everything like they just spilled their popcorn on the ground.
Coach: R-Truth is ringside and he hasn't said "What's up" even once.
PC: Gabriel hits the 450 on Otunga. Barrett, however, pulls him out of the ring and pins Otunga himself. Otunga is eliminated and we are left with Barrett vs. Gabriel as we go to commercial.
Coach: A little international flavor here. England vs. South Africa. A World Cup preview perhaps?
PC: Back from the break and Barrett has Gabriel in an abdominal stretch. Garbriel fights out and hits his sloppy spin kicks on Barrett. Gabriel hits a crossbody that Barrett jumps into. Kinda cool looking. Gabriel with a flash rollup for two. Gabriel goes for the 450 again but is met with the knees and pinned. Barrett wins and it appears that he is now the front-runner.
Coach: The pros tabulate the votes. CM Punk is wearing a mask. I assume it is because of events from this past week's Smackdown. Thus, I don't care.
PC: MVP is one of our pros starting next week. He introduces Percy Watson, who reminds me of MC Hammer after he recovered from his first bankruptcy. Zack Ryder will also be a pro. His rookie is named Titus O'Neil, a former Florida Gator football player.
Coach: We are halfway through the hour long show and it's elimination time.
PC: Striker interviews the eliminated rookies. They give some dumb answers but the consensus is Wade Barrett.
Coach: I'm not ready to let go yet!
PC: Don't worry Coach. The next season start in seven short days. Oh, and Gabriel is eliminated.
Coach: Mandela did not want him to win NXT.
PC: Two faceless divas are pros. Great. And their rookie is LOW KI!!!! err...Kaval. Well Coach, I have a new NXT guy to get over-emotional about.
Coach: I'm really looking forward to this one week break from NXT. It's been a long season.
PC: Mark Henry is another pro. Or "Professional" as he says. His rookie is Lucky Cannon. He seems lame.
Coach: Mark Henry could eat him. And will, on the Season 2 Finale.
PC: Barrett and Otunga are supposed to berate each other on the microphone. Otunga says a bunch of stupid crap that would make Edge blush.
Coach: Barrett counters with dry British sarcasm. Typical.
PC: Another pro introduction. Kofi Kingston this time. He also says "Professional." His rookie is Michael McGillicutty. His dad is Mr. Perfect. He acts all intense. I would prefer that he make a foul shot backwards.
Coach: Isn't there basketball on or something?
PC: Nope. There's no escape, Coach. Striker is about to announce the winner but The Miz interrupts. He announces that he will be back as a pro on NXT Season 2. His rookie: Alex Riley.
Coach: He's like a mini-Miz.
PC: And now...the winner is...wait. Regal congratulates Jericho prematurely and then insults Jeniffer Hudson. R-Truth gets in his face. R-Truth does a dance move. Regal just got served. All the pros are jawing at each other now. CM Punk non-chalantly leaves. Striker interrupts them for a change. The winner is...WADE BARRETT! No one is surprised. Jericho with smug applause on the entrance ramp.
Coach: I really thought Otunga was going to win. I thought it from the very beginning. Kudos to them for going against expectations.
PC: Barrett cuts a heel promo to celebrate. And that's it. Show's over.
Final Thoughts
Coach: I think WWE found itself a new brand. I don't know how they'll make it any different next season, but then again I'm sure they'll come up with new and exciting stupid challenges.
PC: Bryan Danielson is quickly finding his place in WWE. And here comes Low Ki!
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