PC: Lazy afternoon. Some sour cream and onion chips. A little Japanese Junior Heavyweight wrestling. Welcome to The Summer of Awesome.
Coach: It’s pretty obvious, in my mind, that Jushin “Thunder” Liger is going to win this because he is going to call his palls Blue, Yellow, Pink, and Black “Thunder” Liger and they are going to combine forces into a giant dinosaur creature and stomp this guy out.
PC: Wrong fictional character, but that’s okay. After the introductions, they approach the center OH SHIT! LIGER JUST SLAPPED THE SHIT OUT OF SANO!
Coach: I have mad respect for his mad disrespect.
PC: Liger with a flurry of Shotays on a dazed Sano. Liger dominates early with a leg lariat and a dive off the apron. Sano counters by roughly throwing Liger around the ring by the neck.
Coach: Have I seen Sano before?
PC: No. He was the king of Japanese Junior Heavyweights for a very brief time right before Liger. Then he made some questionable career decisions and just hasn't been remembered in the same way as Liger.
Coach: Sano tries to tear off Liger’s mask and we have more mad disrespect.
PC: Sano continues to throw Liger around and go after the mask.
Coach: How does Liger breath with that mask on? Or perhaps the question should be, is he able to breath WITHOUT the mask?
PC: Sano has Liger down. He delivers a big leg drop to the back of Liger’s match. Reminds me of the time that Bob legdropped Todd on the beach in Ft. Lauderdale and led to Todd puking in front of all those girls.
Coach: These two really hate each other. Were they perhaps part of a tag team in the past?
PC: Actually they weren’t.
Coach: Wow. So it’s just good old-fashion irrational hate.
PC: Sano, still firmly in control, sets Liger on the top rope. Big superplex by Sano but only gets two. Liger’s mask is almost completely removed at this point. We now see for the first time that Liger is bleeding heavily.
Coach: Almost like the mask was literally part of his skin.
PC: Sano with a nice Yakuza kick followed up by a Boston Crab. Liger makes the ropes, but Sano only rewards him with a stomp to the back of the neck. Sano with a suplex but only two. I’ve never seen Liger get the shit kicked out of him like this.
Coach: Mask is completely off now. Maybe Liger will be able to see his opponent and get some offense in.
PC: Liger finally gains momentum after hitting a headscissors and an out of control Tope con Hilo to the outside that lands him in the second row. Liger with a backbreaker followed up by a Mexican Surfboard. Sano counters out by going to the eyes.
Coach: I’ve been to Mexico and I can assure you that said move in no way resembles the surfboards there.
PC: Sano drops several knees directly onto Liger’s head wound. Sano with a Perfectplex and German suplex, both for two.
Coach: I’m getting worried that the other Thunder Ligers aren’t going to make an appearance. I’m still holding out hope that he will jump into a mechanical dinosaur by the end of the match though.
PC: Sano with another Boston Crab but Liger again makes the ropes. Sano has had enough. He picks up Liger and drops him directly on his head with a Dragon Suplex. He STILL only gets two. Liger counters an Irish Whip and hits a clothesline. Sano cuts off the comeback with a clothesline and corner dropkick.
Coach: I am currently reading Shogun and there hasn’t been a single wrestling scene. I thought you said it was big there.
PC: Sano nails Liger right under the chin with a spin kick. Liger’s comeback is cut off AGAIN and Sano nails him with a plancha to the outside.
Coach: They sorely need a double haymaker scene like in Rocky II. Good plot twist for any match.
PC: Liger counters another superplex by landing on top of Sano. Sano rana’s out of a Ligerbomb attempt. Sano hits a Tiger Suplex but Liger gets his foot on the ropes.
Coach: Just like his mask, Liger is hanging in there.
PC: Liger with a high angle German Suplex for two. Crowd has been nuts the whole match, but they’ve gone into an extra gear now. Great sequence as Sano flips out of a backdrop attempt and goes for a rana but is hit with a Ligerbomb instead. After the two count, Liger hits a tombstone and a Shooting Star Press FOR THE WIN!
Final Thoughts
PC: Epic match. The IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title has always been one of the storied championships in professional wrestling. To say that this is one of the best matches to ever be contested over said title is in no way a stretch. Liger is fucking awesome.
Coach: Agreed. He started off with slapping the dude in the face and then held on for the win. I’m officially adding Liger to my “If I have to watch wrestling, let’s watch these guys” list.
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